consolejockey

Many deep and important conversations were had last night after the debates. One of them, that I must share with others due to it’s profound impact, amounted to this bold but accurate statement: A vote for George W. Bush is a vote against cookies… and brownie bites too.

The Bush administration’s policies diminish our civil liberties, invade our privacy, especially in regards to our freedom to enjoy cookies. Yes, cookies ladies and gentlemen! Sections of the new version of the Patriot Act are specifically designed to withhold cookies from the American public. Cookies can be confiscated from anyone at anytime, for reasons that do not have to be disclosed and with out the benefit of legal cookie counsel. Home Land Security agents will be allowed to invade your home, without a warrant, take your cookies, eat them in front of you, leaving crumbs all over your floor.

Also, there are no-cookie lists, that all grocery stores and super markets will be required by law to enforce. If your name is on the list, you may not be allowed to buy cookies, or you will be allowed to buy them only after a full body cavity search. If some of the new legislation is passed, you will only be allowed to buy cookies after a full background check and a six day waiting period. Given the Bush administration’s habit of cronyism, those with Bush family connections will be exempt from these cookie laws, and will be allowed to eat all the cookies they want. The right to eat cookies, freely, as every American should be allowed to do, will become the privilege of the wealthy elite.

Currently the ACLU is suing to reveal secret cookie law passed secretly by John Aschcroft in secret. This secret law also includes the secret monitoring of those who buy cookies, how much and what kind. This secret law also extends the government’s secret powers to include brownie bites. First cookies, then brownie bites, what next? When will the madness end?

So, if you’re not sure about who to vote for this November, remember this, A vote for John Kerry is a vote for cookies… and brownie bites.

My name is consolejockey and I approve this message.